Gratitude Shifts

Something I have been thinking about lately is gratitude and thankfulness. Most people naturally spend time thinking about the negative and finding solutions to problems that come up or that may come up in the future. I do this as well but what I’m realizing is that this negative thinking can easily spin out of control into worry, fear, and paralysis by analysis.

I turn 43 next week and as I reflect on my life, I am grateful for many things and I also have some twinges of regret that sneak up on me. Things that I wished I would have done or wished I would have known sooner etc… If you are a regular reader of my blogs, you know that I’ve struggled with big questions such as, whether to have kids at my age or not, dating in my 40s, and other major life directional decisions.

At times, I get so wrapped up in making the “right” decision. And, the truth is life is complex and there often is no 100% right decision and mistakes are actually learning opportunities in disguise. Yet, I can get very stressed about these things.

What’s the opportunity here? The opportunity – as I see it – is to choose gratitude. When I take the focus off of what I don’t have and look at what I do have, my energy and perspective shift.

Some of the things I’m extremely grateful for are (in no particular order): relationships where I am completely loved even when I’m awkward, weird and quirky; a loving family including a fun niece and nephew; the ability to help others through counseling, coaching and writing; many mountain-top life experiences; a spiritual life that sustains me; and the simple things in life like a comfy place to live.

Here are some other random things I’m thankful for (in no particular order): thai food, chocolate, dogs, cats, bunnies (really anything furry except spiders), beaches, sunsets, laughing, dancing, learning new things, seeing people grow, baking, traveling, praying, writing, new insights, really feeling deeply. Many times, the smallest things bring the greatest joy.

Let’s face reality, life can bring challenges. Sometimes hurt and pain are very present. Many times, though, this is the best time to stop and re-member what you are uniquely grateful for. Everyone’s list is different.

I am noticing that the more that I am able to embrace my own story as unique, valuable, and full of purpose (even in the mess); the more I am able to access deep gratitude for what is rather than focusing on what isn’t in my life. Our culture has a way of shaming people for not living life within a certain box leaving many people feeling like there is something wrong with them when their life doesn’t meet that image.

Let me just say that wherever you are in your life, whatever you are doing or not doing – you have purpose and value. Hugs for you on the journey…