Are you Bored?

Did you ever say, “I’m bored” to your mom or dad when you were little? I definitely did. The funny thing is I am an adult and I’m feeling bored. I can’t really complain to my parents about how bored I am now. I guess I could but it probably wouldn’t help much.

Instead, this sense of boredom has led to some honest self-reflection… asking myself, “Why are you bored?” “What are you looking for or needing?” Things I know about myself are that I am an extrovert and I get energy and excitement from being around other people and from being active. I also know that I went through a more introverted phase this past year after my divorce and after some major life transitions. I needed time to slow down, heal and reflect and living back in Frankfort was perfect for this season. Something I know for sure is that all of us go through life seasons and it’s so very normal.

As I evaluate my own sense of boredom, I wonder what to add to my life or what to try – what am I being called to or drawn towards? I’m being intentional because in the past there have been times that I’ve been bored and impulsively gotten into commitments that were not good for me and bounced into relationships that seemed exciting but were actually not safe or life-giving for my soul. I’ve had an exaggerated sense of my own ability to handle whatever I leap into.

But, for today, I have been forcing myself to “sit” and “stay put” in my own boredom and listen – to the voice of God and to my own voice for what is most important.

I went salsa dancing a few nights ago and I loved it – I loved the environment, the music, and the dancing. It reminded me of my Seattle nights of going salsa dancing at the lovely Century Ballroom in the city.

So, I’m wondering… do I take salsa dancing lessons again? Or, maybe I am more ready for a dating relationship now? Or, perhaps open to taking on more responsibility in my work or in ministry? That is all possible. The trouble is that I can’t snap my fingers and have everything my heart may be longing for immediately. Most everything worthwhile evolves and comes through a process. Ugh – a process – that is hard to hear for someone who is going through a boredom episode. I tend to be impatient and want my needs and desires filled as soon as I begin to feel them. The tension of desire won’t kill me or you but I for one, don’t particularly enjoy it.

Thus, I’m writing this as a discipline and as a way for me personally to slow down and pay attention. To kick my shoes off and make friends with this boredom for a moment and listen before acting or at least before leaping. Perhaps it is okay and part of the process to make some movements forward and to pay attention to how each movement feels. It is kind of like learning to dance. In my experience with salsa dancing, there are moments where I have to step out and try new steps before I can learn what’s next. This is especially true for an extrovert who learns more fully by doing rather than only reflecting.

What about you? Are you bored? Do you know why? How do you handle boredom? I’d love to hear from you. Maybe we can help each other navigate it and learn from it.

Blessings and Love,

Shelley