Would You Let Someone Wash Your Toes?

There is a story in the Bible where Jesus humbled himself and washed his disciples feet. The glorious humanity of Jesus in this story touches my heart. He held their dirty and very likely disgusting feet, immersing them in water and cleaning them. I’m imagining him washing each of their toes and as I’m not a “touching feet kind of person”- so, it kind of creeps me out.

For reference, here are the actual verses:

“Jesus knew that the night before Passover would be his last night on earth before leaving this world to return to the Father’s side. All throughout his time with his disciples, Jesus had demonstrated a deep and tender love for them. And now he longed to show them the full measure of his love.”
John 13:1 (The Passion Translation)

And also, “Jesus was fully aware that the Father had placed all things under his control, for he had come from God and was about to go back to be with him. So he got up from the meal and took off his outer robe, and took a towel and wrapped it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ dirty feet and dry them with his towel. ” John 13:3-4 (TPT)

I am struck by Jesus’s simultaneous confidence and vulnerability. He knew where he came from, he knew where he was going, he knew how he felt about the disciples and he knew that he was about to suffer a tragic death. If that were me, I might want to hole up somewhere, put the covers over my head and/or run away. Yet, he faced the moment by bravely, confidently and beautifully moving forward.

I have also been drawn in by his vulnerability. As I mentioned before, washing toes? I mean, come on. Maybe he could have given them each an embrace and a quick blessing on the head but instead he knelt and washed each of the twelve disciples feet.

There are many lessons for me personally in this and maybe for you. Do you know who you are? Do you know where you are going? Do you know who you love? Whose feet are you washing? Whose toes would you scrub metaphorically or literally?

As a counselor, I often listen to folks talk about the deep stresses with relationships in their lives. Many times after listening for a while, I come back to questions like, “How are you doing with yourself?” “How do you feel about you?” And, this isn’t because I think we all need to be navel-gazing and self-centered. On the contrary, it is because many days we (as people) lose track of ourselves. We have so many external voices and distractions that we can lose a sense of purpose and confident direction for our lives. What I mean by this is that we may need to take the time and space to recognize who we are, how we are created and take stock of where we are going. Scripture tells us that Jesus often went off by himself to pray. I don’t know exactly what those times were like for him but I believe that it must have been an amazingly deep time of prayer and connection to who He was as Son of Man and Son of God.

I have talked about vulnerability a lot on my blog posts. Yet, in reference to this particular passage, let’s take a moment and breathe and recognize that God himself was vulnerable for us on the cross- the ultimate display of vulnerability and strength. God would wash each of your toes. He would claim you. The vulnerability goes both ways. Vulnerability is made complete in the giving and the receiving of love. The disciples had to accept his love for them and they did protest a little but in the end, they opened themselves up. And, that openness caused them each a lot of grief as they witnessed him dying on the cross. Yes, I have to believe it was worth it.

Yet, in truth, it is quite hard to live a vulnerable and confident life. But, I believe it is a beautiful ideal to be moving towards not by striving but rather by settling in to who you truly are created to be rather than running from it.

Blessings and Love, Shelley