Living in Uncertain Times
Right now, we are living in very uncertain times. Due to the COVID-19 virus, the uncertainty has been snow-balling and building. Every day new information emerges for us to process. We, as Americans are used to having so much freedom to do what we want, when we want to do it. Now, these limitations are placed upon us by a virus that we cannot physically see. It is not like the virus is a purple cloud that we can all point to. It’s invisibility makes it even more frightening. What we do see is news feeds about this pandemic growing and predictions that vary. We see closures of schools, entertainment, restaurants, etc… We see the financial market struggling. We also see peoples’ faces in grocery stores looking anxious, tired and scared. It is a crazy time of life for all of us! Other countries are in the same situation, trying desperately to find ways to respond to this threat. I do not claim to be any kind of expert on all of this and I will admit that I haven’t been watching a lot of news. What I can offer is some perspective or vision that may help. As a counselor and a life coach, I have been talking to clients about their fears and the disruption this pandemic has caused in their own world. And, I have been starting to pay attention to my own heart a little bit more.
You see, this is a unique time of my own life. I met Chad a few months ago (December 2019) and we both fell in love with each other quickly. As Christian believers, we have really felt the sense that God is drawing us together. Both in our 40s and neither of us having kids, we have felt an acceleration of our love story. We got engaged March 2nd! I have been full of joy about this but have not known how to express it fully and so, I took a break from writing. In the midst of that, I changed jobs and life has felt at times overwhelming. I have been trying to adjust to all of this. Then, the Corona-virus hit hard. Chad and I had planned to get married June 13 of this year. I have already intentionally and thoughtfully made plans such as the venue, the guest list, the caterer, the DJ. Then, he and I have watched as each week our world has become more uncertain.
This past weekend, it all crashed in on me after talking to one of my best friends in Seattle. I realized that it was very unlikely that my closest friends from out of state would be able to come to a wedding in June. So, I finally let down and cried about it all- the fact that I have been through so many life changes, the fact that the beautiful wedding I was planning would not happen and just the wonderful, beautiful and scary reality that I was getting remarried. I sobbed and Chad comforted me. The next day, I cried again and it felt like I was finally letting myself feel. You see, I felt like other people had it worse that I did and I had to be strong. For example, people in Italy are really suffering, healthcare workers and those who are totally out of work. And, that is true. Many people are desperately suffering right now. But, I needed to acknowledge my own losses not just the losses of the world or of my clients. I, too, need God’s comfort in the midst of this scary and tumultuous life season. As I am admitting this, I feel strengthened in a way that I didn’t before. You see, we don’t have to pretend like everything is okay or fine. It. just. isn’t.
I’m also reminded that we still need each other. I am an extrovert and I really feel good being with others. This time period has been isolating and even though, there are moments that I have enjoyed the solitude, I feel myself shrinking back too much. I get the sense that many of us are in self-protective or family-protective mode which is totally understandable given the situation. Nevertheless, we may have to continue intentionally and creatively reaching out to others even though we are feeling disrupted. Whether that is a phone call, a Zoom video call, a small group of people gathering (while socially distancing :)), writing a letter - we NEED each other.
Lately, I have been thinking about the story in the Bible where the Israelites left Egypt and the Lord led them by day and by night. This was an extremely terrifying time for them. They left all that they knew and all that was familiar. To help them, God made His presence visibly clear and they still struggled with doubt. Exodus 13:21: “The Lord was going before them in a pillar of cloud by day to lead them on the way, and a pillar of fire by night to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night.” God led the Israelites through with help in the morning and help in the evening.
Then, in the desert when they were wandering, the Lord provides for them water and manna (bread) from heaven to eat. Exodus 16:4: “Then, the Lord said to Moses, ‘Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a day’s portion every day, that I may test them, whether or not they will walk in My instruction.” You see, God fed the Israelites just enough of what they needed each day. They were instructed to not store up more than they needed and when they did, it became moldy and they couldn’t eat it. I keep thinking about this story because I think it is hard for us all to trust that we will have what we need right now. A sign of this fear is the way that toilet paper has become scarce and it is hard to find meat in the stores. It is super easy to get into a scarcity mentality. I’m not talking about being wise and prepared. I am writing about a way of thinking about the world that becomes fearful and isolating.
These are just observations and I’m in this struggle with you all.
I would just recommend a few tips:
Acknowledge honestly your pain and losses during this time- to yourself, to a friend, a counselor, to God.
Be kind to yourself and to others who may also be frightened.
Reach out to someone at least once per day - we need each other - even if you feel like isolating, try to push through that and connect to at least one person.
Seek professional help if you need it. I’m available to talk and many other counselors/helpers are doing tele-therapy. Don’t let finances be an issue, if you need help- reach out.
Try to fight against the “scarcity mentality” that is rampant in our world. Although it is good to be prepared, you might want to check in with yourself and learn lessons from the Israelites that we can trust our needs to be provided for day by day.
Reach out to God in prayer. If you don’t know Jesus, ask someone how you can have a personal relationship with Him. I’m available to talk about that with you as well.
Do something creative.
Get out of your head and into your body even if just a few minutes a day.
Open your windows and go outside for at least 10 - 20 minutes a day.
Find something to laugh about - either a show or a comment from a friend. Anything to add a little levity.
Blessings and Love to you all! Take good care of yourself and each other. Virtual (social distancing appropriate) hugs to you~~
Shelley