The Intentional Re-set

There have been a few different times in my life that I have taken a personal retreat or have gotten away during pivotal moments of my life. Sometimes it is just for the day and other times it has been longer.

This weekend, I have been in Kentucky at Asbury Theological Seminary. Over 19 years ago, I almost went to Asbury for graduate school instead of to the school I attended in Seattle. So, it is interesting to be back here after all this time – sort of a full circle sensation.

Why is it so important to get quiet and pray and take a step back when going through a transition? Well, for me, I know that I am a doer. I stay busy and keep a full schedule. Because of that, I need the discipline of taking time away from many distractions - to think, to pray and to re-set. I need the reminder that I am a human being not a human doing.

 Is it easy to stop? No, not at all. This morning as I was preparing to drive to Kentucky for my “super” spiritual retreat, I was cussing at my phone because google maps wouldn’t work. And, this afternoon, as soon as I got to my retreat, I took a two hour nap. J What I am realizing is that my relationship with God is not based on my doing either. It is based on grace. So, one of the themes of this retreat for me is to rest in God and not try to impress Him. So, He and I have been going on walks, eating chocolate, writing, and seeing where the moment takes us. God as my partner in all of this. You see, I think sometimes we as humans believe that God is so far above us and so un-reachable when the true faith reality is that God is closer that our skin and closer than our breath.

 I’m in a weird place in some ways in my life. As a dating relationship recently ended and I’ve been grieving the loss of that connection, I knew I needed to take time to step back before moving back into a “new normal.” This desire to do that was part of the impetus for this retreat. I also have things I’m thinking through regarding my own purpose and sense of belonging as I launch my  Life Coaching business called “Soul Purpose.”

 Do you ever feel like something is missing but you can’t put your finger on it? I do. And, that is maybe the hardest thing for me - this low-grade panic that I’m missing some important piece/some key that will tie everything together in my life. So, I am also giving that to God and asking questions because I want reassurance that I am on a beautiful path in life. I also wonder if in my tender heart and soul if I will always have a sensitivity like this and part of growing for me is accepting that I am the type of person who needs to reflect, rest and re-set. I think we all probably do but many people are not in tune with that due to different personalities, avoidance  – yada yada. All that to say, I am unique. I not like anyone else and that is ok. Some of these concepts are what I hope to share with others who are sojourning on the same dusty path as me. It can get lonely and I want to help.

 So, reader, I am taking notes as I go through my own journey and I am being intentional so that I can intentionally walk with you. Send me a message if you’d like to talk. We can walk together awhile and I will share wisdom that I have received from walking through many of my own transition seasons.

Here is a poem that I read when I got here today that really spoke to me.

“Blessing for the Broken Vessel” By Jan Richardson

Do not despair
You hold the memory
of what it was
to be whole.
It lives deep
in your bones.
It abides
in your heart
that has been torn
and mended
a hundred times.
It persists
in your lungs
that know the mystery
of what it means
to be full,
to be empty again.
I am not asking you
to give up your grip
on the shards you clasp
so close to you
But to wonder
what it would be like
for those jagged edges
to meet each other
in some new pattern
that you have never imagined,
that you have never dared
to dream.